As Louise Hay says: You are always doing your absolute best with your knowledge, awareness and experience.
As Maya Angelou would say: When you know better you can do better.
How do you feel when I say to you that your love for your children is not enough?
Mindful parenting is about the art of being willing to keep training yourself to respond more often to your child instead of unconsciously reacting.
Being a parent is your most important job in the world
you are basically raising the next generation.
When you become more mindful and reflective you tend to parent more compassionately. You potentially support your child to self reflect, feel more empathy and become more conscious of his/her own human behaviour.
The long term benefits of parenting more consciously are that your child could feel reasonably comfortable in his/her own skin and could have more of an ability to regulate his/her feelings.
Oftentimes when parenting unconsciously, you may be unaware of the effects of your parenting. You may parent in a way that you saw your parents do or how society says you ‘should’ parent. This sometimes results in parenting from your head and possibly from a fearful stance.
I gently invite you to come into your heart, your intuition and start/or continue to make your parenting decisions from this place.
It is about making compassionate boundaries with your child. It is not about over indulging him/her with technology or giving into his/her every whim.
When you are stuck in a cycle of unconscious parenting, you are often making decisions based on perfectionism, possibly needing to feel ‘liked’, maybe motivated by guilt or what you didn’t have as a child. Maybe you simply cannot deal with your child’s feelings because you can’t even deal with your own?
If you struggle with a low sense of yourself, you at times could have the tendency to live your life ‘through’ your child and oftentimes take it personally when he/she doesn’t do what you want him/her to do.
You might often hear yourself say: ‘But it is for your own good’.
For example maybe it is you that would have liked to have swimming lessons as a little girl. Are you really listening to your child and the type of personality he/she has, when he/she is screaming at the side of the swimming pool resisting going into the water?
On reflection maybe you could wait to start lessons another term or year.
Mindful parenting is about staying open to catching yourself when you are reacting to your child.
What will you get from this course?
You may become more open to self-reflection, journaling, group discussion, possibly start attending 1.1 therapy, learn about the art and practice of meditation, be reminded about the importance of gratitude, incorporate realistic self-care into your life, and most crucially you may become motivated to practice self-compassion and humility.
You could feel more guided and more supported to come back to the child you have and not the child you wish you had. You might parent him/her more frequently from a more grounded peaceful stance.It could be the beginning of raising yourself to feel like a ‘good enough parent’
The focus on the programme is always on you, your behaviours, responses and reactions.
I invite you to read the book ‘The Awakened Family’ by Dr. Shefali Tsabary.
I encourage you to join my private Facebook group ‘Mindful Peeps’ where I regularly post articles and information about conscious living.
So what’s available for you?
- I run ‘Mindful Parenting’ seminars (90 minute)
- 1/2 day workshops
- Full day workshops
- 1.1 online and face to face support
- I will be running ‘Mindfulness in relation to Parenting’ workshops and seminars in Co. Kerry and Co. Limerick over the coming year.
- I will also be hosting a live webinar on mindful parenting in the near future.
- In the interim my mindful parents I invite you to follow my blog.
I wish you so well,
Yours in conscious perfectly imperfect parenting,
Harriet Mc Guigan